


Not So Cold Anymore

by waterbird13



Series: Tumblr Fics [45]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 02:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3961417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterbird13/pseuds/waterbird13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam thinks life is just a cold place. Benny is determined to prove him wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Cold Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone--  
> Here's another old Tumblr fic.  
> Warnings for:...not much, really. Sam living a cold, empty life prior to having Benny in it, I guess.  
> Enjoy.

Sam’s not one for luxuries. His mattress is older than him, his clothes are from thrift stores, and his idea of a good meal is a salad that he doesn’t have to shake first. They spend a decent amount on weapons, but that’s work stuff, not luxury.

Dean has the car. Dean has his showers, his alcohol, his girls, his mattress, even his stupid bathrobe. Sam begrudges Dean none of that (even if he thinks the robe is stupid and that Dean overindulges in the alcohol sometimes), but he does have to wonder how Dean finds those things so easily. How a Magic Fingers can satisfy Dean but there seems to be very little exceptionally satisfying to Sam.

It’s not that he has expensive, or impossible, taste, because while he knows expensive, high culture enough to get by, it’s not like he actually wants any of it. Well. Maybe he once dreamed of a nice painting hanging above a mantle in a nice home. But that was a dream, and it’s gone.

He liked his coffee a little nicer than Dean, but he’s grown out of that preference just like he has most everything else. He likes books and reading, and he supposes that, as rarely as he gets the opportunity, they are his major indulgence. But the fact of the matter is he reads for the job more than anything else, and that sucks up his time.

It’s a kind of cold existence but Sam figures life is just cold. He’s glad Dean found his indulgences, even if sometimes it’s a little too much of the alcohol. He guesses they were just made different.

Benny seems to find that reprehensible. Books of all varieties appear in Sam’s room. When Sam presses Benny about the randomness, Benny tells him calmly that Sam’s never expressed a preference, and he can decide for himself what he likes, and Benny can buy more of that in the future.

Benny buys so many books that a bookshelf is needed. He buys a new one and he and Sam spend the afternoon putting it together until at last the proud shelf, filled with perfectly alphabetized books, stands in the corner of Sam’s room.

They get to a point where Sam wants Benny to move in with him. He finds it hard to say, because rejection would sting, but he gets it out. Benny insists they replace the mattress and most of the furniture first. Especially the mattress.

They go shopping. It’s not memory foam, but it is the most comfortable thing Sam ever remembers sleeping on, made even more comfortable with Benny’s arms around him through the night.

They add blankets and pillows and a new chair, too, one that’s over-sized and comfortable and, as Benny points out, great for reading. Sam uses it occasionally, but he finds that he prefers reading in bed.

Sam starts ordering lattes again upon occasion. Benny laughs at the foamed milk mustaches Sam sometimes gets and kisses them away.

Sam re-discovers a love of travel stories and his shelf grows. Benny buys cookbooks and reads them with his tongue between his teeth in bed with Sam at night.

Soon enough, he starts cooking, offering Sam meal after meal, all healthy, most exactly what Sam wants.

Nothing seems as cold anymore. There are things to look forward to, there are things outside the job, there is promise, there is hope. 

It’s not that it’s all entirely on Benny, although Sam would never deny how good Benny has been. But loving Benny and being loved in turn is only partially responsible for it.

Having someone acknowledge Sam first and foremost as a person, not a hunter, a duty, an object, a screw-up, but only as a person, has made, Sam knows, all the difference.


End file.
